#ryan dunn fanfic

[sunnyie-eve]

Odds Together Masterlist

Series: Viva La Bam & Jackass

Paring: Ryan Dunn x OFC Margera!

Summary: Being related to the Bam Margera wasn't the easiest thing in the world. If Annabelle could she would pay not to be his sister. The only good but also bad thing being his sister was she was also friends with his best friend.

{ Ch.1 | Ch.2 | Ch.3 | Ch.4 | Ch.5 | Ch.6 | Ch.7 | Ch.8 | Ch.9 | Ch.10 | Ch.11 | Ch.12 | Ch.13 | Ch.14 | Ch.15 | Ch.16 | Ch.17 | Ch.18 | Ch.19 | Ch.20 | Ch.21 | Ch.22 | Ch.23 | Ch.24 | Ch.25

[glamerousgirl4]

Should I post start posting on here like edits and stuff?

[that-one-fangirl69]

you ever read a fic so good you just gotta sit there and contemplate your entire existence and everything you’ve ever read before?

[b4mpyre-k1zz3s]

Hooters Waitress Y/N HC’s!

Johnny Knoxville X Fem!Reader, Bam Margera X Fem!Reader, Steve-O X Fem!Reader, Ryan Dunn X Fem!Reader, Chris Pontius X Fem!Reader

Warnings: Suggestive content, flirting, creepy guy mention

An: Thank you so much for sending in requests!! These headcannons were inspired by this fic by @dunnswrld and one of my friends who once jokingly told me she was going to work at Hooters someday! Some of these HC’s were actually based on real events that happened to me or people I know XD anyways, thank you for sending in requests and please keep them coming!

After Jeff had to bail the guys out of jail due to their drunken antics, they were barred from partying for a couple nights,

And yes, that did include any trips down to the hotel bar. This was a huge boner killer because there’s only so much fun you can have getting hammered in your room.

“I mean, I like the guy-” Steve mused about Jeff as he laid back against one of the beds, “but I feel like a caged animal stuck in this joint...“

Inspired by their desperate predicament, Knoxville got an idea everyone was onboard with,

“I think there’s a Hooters across the street…Why don’t we go there?”

Technically a restaurant, Hooters was something that Jeff could let slide.

Now, you didn’t recognize all of them when they walked in, because you only paid attention to Jackass when the cute one was half naked on screen, but you could tell they were famous

Nearly shoving your coworker out of the way, you rushed over to where they had already gotten seated,

“Hiiii! My name’s Y/N, and I’ll be your server tonight!”

Flipping open your little notepad, you turned to the table, “Now, what can I get you boys to drink?”

Johnny spoke up first, sweet as always, “How about a round of beers for me and the guys? Miller High Life if you’ve got 'em, ma’am.”

As you jotted it down, the guys exchanged ‘woah, she’s hot’ glances. I mean, even in the world of Hooter’s waitresses, this lady was something…

And remember how you didn’t recognize all of them at first?

Well, given the fact your main customer base were middle aged men, Bam’s whole skate punk look with the black hoodies and eyeliner and whatnot didn’t exactly scream maturity to you

I’m not even going to mention his height…

Point is, you kinda assumed he was one of their teenage sons or step kids or something, so you bent down and asked him in that patronizing coo,

“Can I get the little prince of darkness anything to drink? We’ve got Sprite, Pepsi…”

After connecting the dots, Bam’s face flushed bright pink.

Part of him was pissed that you thought he was some prepubescent twerp, but at the same time he couldn’t be that mad because this hot piece of ass was being all sweet to him

Ry interjected, putting a paternal hand on his back before Bam could correct you, “The little guy’ll take a chocolate milk.”

That earned him a good, silverware rattling kick under the table.

After you dropped off their beers, you tottered off to tend to other customers and the crew got to discussing their smoking hot waitress.

Johnny, all of a sudden Mr. Polite, stepped in once the conversation got a little too raunchy for his taste, “Alright, boys- let’s be gentlemen here.”

“We’re at Hooters!” Bam scoffed at his resistance, “We don’t have t’be gentlemen!”

Ryan, who never really got the guys’ whole obsession with boobs, rolled his eyes at him, “You’re startin’ to sound like your uncle.”

Taking a sip of his beer, Dunn imitated Vito’s…unique manner of speech, “‘Oh, we’re at hooters! We don’t gotta be gentlemen!’”

“Fuck you.” “Fuck me? Fuck you!”

Finally breaking up the squabble was Steve, who had been busy eyeing your fine ass from across the room, and he leaned over to Bam,

“Hey, little prince of darkness- think’y could knock your crayons on the floor?”

Dropping off their drinks, you glanced around the table at the sleazy expressions that were all looking back at you and you asked if they wanted to order any wings

Flashing you a charming smile, Chris playfully wiggles his eyebrows at you as he put down his menu, “I was gonna ask if you were on the menu, but I’m a vegetarian!”

Steve saw his chance and quickly piped up from across the table, “I’m not!”

It was like some animal planet show, but instead of fighting for territory, they were all competing with each other to see who could get the pretty girl to look at them more.

Sure, it may have been against company policy to give out your number, but that’s only in instances when creepy men pester you about it,

Not so much if you happened to jot down your digits on the bill of a group of very handsome, very charming customers.

[lexaknoxville]

ᴜɴᴅᴇʀɴᴇᴀᴛʜ ɪᴛ ᴀʟʟ - Johnny Knoxville

“𝐛𝐞𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐝𝐚𝐫𝐤 𝐠𝐥𝐚𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮’𝐫𝐞, 𝐲𝐨𝐮’𝐫𝐞 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐞𝐥𝐬𝐞.” - 𝐍𝐨 𝐃𝐨𝐮𝐛𝐭

pairing(s) | Johnny Knoxville x fem!reader

summary | just headcanons on meeting/getting asked out by Knoxville

warnings | cussing, maybe suggestive content? I think that’s about it!

REQUESTS ARE OPEN! MASTERLIST!

• I think it was definitely one of those “She fell first, he fell harder” situations

• I want to say you guys met through a mutual friend or maybe you worked on the Jackass Crew

• for now I’m gonna say you worked on the crew

• Naturally you knew who he was, and naturally you were attracted to him (who wouldn’t be)

• It took a chance meeting for him to really notice you tho

• let’s say you got dragged into a stunt, or you were helping him after he got hurt. It was most likely something like that

• after that initial meeting Pj was just like “yep, she’s the one.” and made it his personal mission to get you to himself

• It took the rest of the cast noticing his little crush and bugging him about it for him to actually act on it though

��she’s totally hot man, if you don’t ask her out I will” - steve-o probably

“I can see your boner from here Knoxville” - bam probably

“Little lover boy has a crushhh. Want me to talk to her for you?” - Dunn maybe

• all of the dickhead behavior from his friends finally convinced him to ask you. Now I see this going one of two ways.

1. Him always finding an excuse to come to your office/work station so he can bug you, then eventually work up the courage

2. the cast/crew are at a bar after shooting one day and he’s a little buzzed. He finally grows a pair and comes up to you.

• either way! You’re like “Oh! yes!”

THEN YOU LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER

kidding.

• yall went on a cute little date somewhere and he was pleasantly surprising!

• he dropped the whole jackass persona and the sweet southern boy came out

• he was laying the nicknames on thickkkk. His shit definitely had you squirming.

• Baby, Babydoll, Sweetheart, Dollface, Pretty Girl. Those are definitely his favorites! (they’re your favorites too…)

• walked you to your front door after the date, AND snuck a little kiss in. He was kinda flustered so after the kiss he was like “I had fun doll, see you at work!” and scurried off to his car LMAO

•. You were FREAKING OUTTT. like “holy fuck holy fuck he kissed me” but quickly collected yourself and shouted bye back to him

• definitely the kind of asshole to do the whole jump and shout after you got inside. Do yall know what I’m talking about 😭 like the whole “woo hoo!” and celebration dance cause the date went well LMAOOO

• ofc you’re watching from your window, it wasn’t embarrassing though because it’s him, it was more endearing than anything.

OKOK THATS ALL I HAVE FOR NOW IM SORRY! SEND REQUESTS 😚

[viva-la-vernal]

random jackass headcannons

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Johnny

-takes you on expensive dates but goofs off the whole time

-lovesss to show you off to literally everyone

-always opens doors for you, hands you stuff, he basically won’t let you do anything for yourself lol

-always watching your back so the other guys don’t pull pranks on you

-is always telling you about the crazy shit they did that day

-calls you sweetheart

Chris

-shy at first

-goofs off way too much esp around the guys, sometimes gets annoying

-once his true self comes out he’s really sweet..even if he still can’t stop stumbling over his words when he tries to talk to you

-like you can visibly see the gears in his head not turning correctly when youre around

-everything he does he says “is this ok?” but the guys make fun of him so he adds in a “(is this ok?) my sexy lady 😏 “

-says yes ma’am

Bam

-flirts by play fighting with you (he always acts like you’ve severely injured him)

-always wants you to watch his new skate tricks

-is always laying on you, or has his hand on you, or is fiddling with your hair or clothes without realizing

-when the other guys make fun of him for kissing you he runs after them and aggressively kisses them

-buys you random clothes just to see you wear them

-calls you babe

Ryan

-nervous giggles around you a lot

-even if he was acting super sweet and ushy gushy 5mins ago if someone walks in he acts normal

-literally won’t let you out of his sight on set

-everyone finds you both off in a corner somewhere not participating and just watching everyone else and talking

-gets defensive if the other guys get too close

-calls you honey

Steve-o

-loses track of time wayyy too easily when y’all are together. youre always late

-makes you weird little craft gifts and brings them to you

-dosent wanna tell you about all the gross shit he just did that day so sometimes he acts distant

-loves to cuddle and turns into sleep-o around you a lot

-ALWAYS mentioning you to the other guys at any given chance

-calls you by your name a lot

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[jackassbrainrot]

x reader masterlist

fluff

drive [dunn x gn!reader] that needle won't hurt you [dunn x gn!reader] pure morning [pontius x gn!reader] kiss it better part 1 [bam x m!reader] uncool as me [ehren x gn!reader] the drug you can't deny [jimmy pop x gn!reader]

smut

hating (and rearranging) your guts [bam x f!reader] there's something on your face [steveo x f!reader] nasty new compulsion [dunn x f!reader] like they do on the discovery channel [pontius x f!reader] head in the game [dico x gn!reader] one last time [dunn x f!reader] kiss it better part 2 [bam x m!reader] always right [dico x f!reader] treat me like there's no hell [bam x gn!reader] spread out [steve o x f!reader] princess treatment [dunn x f!reader] all yours [knoxville x f!reader]

angst

one last time [dunn x f!reader] bite like a dog [dunn x f!reader]

[dunnswrld]

“dont make a mess sweetheart i gotta stunt in ten minutes.”

is what johnny said to you as he lifted his head from the sweet spot between your thighs, a cocky grin plastered on the fake cowboys face as your juices and his spit dripped down his chin.

“f-fuck off.”

you said breathlessly, johnny only letting out a soft chuckle before he spoke.

“aw dont be so mean.”

is all he said before he connected his lips with your sensitive cilt again. a moan leaving your lips as his mouth returned to the spot you needed him the most.

your fingers were tangled in johnnys brown hair as he ate you like his last meal, the sound of his soft groans could not only be heard but felt against your core; shivers going up your spin as your eyes crossed from the amount of overwhelming pleasure.

everytime johnny was between your thighs it was better then the last if thats even possible. you swear there was no man that enjoyed eating pussy more then your boyfriend did.

johnnys brown eyes looked up at you from between your thighs. his erection only ached more as he saw your reaction to him between your thighs, you looked completely overstimulated with pleasure and he loved it.

this only motivated johnny to push himself deeper between your thighs, his tongue lapping circles around your cilt as lewd slurping noises came from his actions. a high pitched moan leaving your lips as your grip on johnnys hair tightened.

“j-johnny i-im gonna-”

you felt johnnys grip on your hips tighten as he became almost determined to make you cum, and make you cum hard.

you could swear you saw stars as you let out a strain of moans as your hands tried to grab anything they could, a intense wave of pleasure shooting through your body as johnny didnt even care to slow down. he wanted you to be completely worn out from his tongue.

it wasnt until your chest began to rise and fall heavily did johnny stop, slowly kissing his way from between your legs to your cheek. he then gave you a sweet and passionate kiss, he slightly laughed feeling how lazily you kissed back. you were beat.

when johnny pulled away from the kiss you saw his mouth and face that was covered with your cum and his spit. your face couldnt help but turn red at seeing the aftermath of your boyfriend eating you out.

“i said dont make a mess sweetheart.”

johnny softly teased with a shit-eating smirk on his face, using the bottom of his shirt to wipe his mouth off.

(coming back from the dead to write the smallest piece of whatever this is cause i had the urge to write maybe if it does good ill write again idk😟)

[1800miserablethot]

More head cannons of mine that nobody asked for

Nicknames for the Jackass Crew

Bam Margera

He's a damn sub so we can just guess the nicknames he likes

Pretty Boy, Baby Boy, Baby, Good Boy, Sweetheart, darling, Bambi (though he won't admit to liking it), Bam Bam, etc

Now he would be into degradation so nicknames like bitch, slut, whore, etc would get him going too only if you said it in a way that claimed him as it. Like “You're my little ___”

Ryan Dunn

He gives major golden retriever vibes, and also switch vibes.

He would like the regular ones, yk baby, babe, honey, etc

I feel like he would secretly melt if you called him a good boy.

Johnny Knoxville

He's a top 100%

But the nicknames he likes are Baby, Babe, and simple stuff because usually, it's him calling you nicknames like darling, sweetheart, babydoll, etc.

I’ll bet everything that he likes being called daddy

Steveo

He's basic, I really can't see him kinky.

He likes being called babe, baby, and that's probably about it lol I feel like he's not into the mushy stuff and not because he's a jerk or “I'm too cool for it” its just not y’alls thing.

Chris Pontius

He's a sweetheart so he's your sweetheart, he likes being called baby, sweetheart, or honey (and due to him being a party boy you tease him and call him honey bunny and he lives for it), you also joke and call him your little devil because of him dressing up as the devil and pissing off Christians.

I don't see him having a top bone in his body at all, but he isn't a sub sub like Bam is, he's right in the middle but not a switch yk? So he's gonna like nicknames like pretty boy, good boy, etc simple stuff.

[berzahoes]

headcanons: female jackass member

an: just some headcanons that i’ve been thinking about lately lol

I love johnny’s shirts but you would have an even better wardrobe

basically this:

you’re not afraid to kick all of the guys’ dick when they’re being assholes or just annoying

you love hanging out with johnny’s daughter if she’s on set (she’s not on set often but when she is you’re literally best friends)

you’ve probably broken an arm and a leg at the same time

you know practically everyone had beef with each other in the early 2000s?? NOT YOU or if you do want to have the whole hollywood experience then you do you <3

you definitely made some appearances on viva la bam

chris + you = besties THAT IS ALL I WANNA BE FRIENDS WITH CHRIS

you cannot go a full five minutes without cursing (me, it’s literally my vocabulary)

you know how when dave england gets drunk he’s like the worst?? you’re not that bad but when drunk dave is doing stupid shit drunk you is hyping him up

you’re always gaslighting the guys

you would shoot someone with the paintball gun (probably johnny or bam) and they would be on the ground in pain and jeff would just ask “what happened?”

you, casually with a paintball gun in your hand, shrug

“SHE SHOT ME”

“that never happened”

ok but i also love that the only female jackass member would have an obsession with dyeing her hair idk why

nvm i do bc imagine being on edge at work all day bc you think the guys are going to prank you

stress = hair dye i don’t make the rules

SPLIT HAIR OR IDK THE PROPER TERM BUT YA KNOW WHAT I MEAN

omg narcissa malfoy hair yeah <3

ok that’s all i got nothing else 😭😭

[johnnyknoxvilleswife]

Why can’t it be 2004? Why can’t I hangout (make out) with all my baby girls (middle-aged men , who make poor decisions, covered in blood)?

[high-on-the-dying-sun]

I have this weird (nonsense question) with the jackass member....

So basically they go to a award, and the only girl in the cast has an ideia (and then go my two options)

idea 1: she asks them to give hickeys in her neck as a "collar"

idea 2: she take them with collars (yes, the dog/cat ones)

well, be free to choose what u think that is better or do another thing

OK, so I picked the first one also I’m sorry this took so long. I didn’t realize until before I was actually posting this that I wrote the wrong thing…Anyways hopes you enjoy (also I'm sorry I'm if this is a bit crap I'm way too lazy to edit it but it looks fine to me!)

warnings: light mentions of smut and sex other than that we are all good hope y'all enjoy and as always my INBOX IS OPEN

Johnny Knoxville

He's down instantly, like in a heartbeat he's on you. 

He’ll definitely gives you hickeys but he's polite with them

He definitely goes for the collarbone rather then the neck

Johnny gently sucks light purple bruises on your collar bone, his hands on the back of your head brushing your hair. He pulled away from your neck for a moment to capture your lips with his own before going back to business.

Bam Margera

Hes smug about it

He definitely gives you more than necessary but hey afterall you were the one who asked for a collar

I also feel like if there's any photographers around or Frantz or gee he’ll definitely make them take pictures and/or videos. 

Bam practically had you in his lap as he waved over one of the behind the scene photographers over to the both of you. You couldn't exactly tell who it was due to you being partially buried in bams shoulder. “Get a look at this.” Bam said to the photographer as he ran his finger down the column of your neck sending a shiver down your spine.

Steve-O

Gonna be honest he's probably too busy doing stunts for the paparazzi

However when you ask him to give you hickeys be pro[ared to be pulled into a random corner or bathroom for a quickie

Like bam he's very smug about it but he brushes it off and acts all cool

Steve laughs against your neck as he squeezed your hips with both of his hands. He moves his kisses too behind your ear and then back to your neck; he looks down at your cleavage and then and then looks up at you with a smirk on his face. “Wanna get out of here?”

Ryan Dunn

He's gonna do it but like in between smoking like you know what i mean. 

Also definitely gonna pull your hair a bit to get a better angle of your neck. 

He definitely a bitter too 

Ryan nips his teeth against your skin as he licks and sucks deep purple bruises against your neck, he moves his head back to admire his work as he pops another cigarette into his mouth.

[w1nkie]

RYAN GOSLING MOVIE RADAR!

Hello, honey buns! I have searched high and far to bring you EVERY RYAN GOSLING MOVIE at the moment that is FREE TO STREAM!

YOUTUBE :

Song To Song (2017)

Half Nelson (2006)

Lars And The Real Girl (2007)

The Big Short (2015)

Stay (2005)

NETFLIX :

All Good Things (2010)

The Gray Man (2022)

La La Land (2016)

HOOPLA :

Fracture (2007)

The Slaughter Rule (2003)

ROKU :

The Believer (2002)

Only God Forgives (2013)

DISNEY+ :

Remember The Titans

————————————————————————————————————————

Now, streaming services often let go and add new movies to there platforms so this can be updated if you guys would like me to! (Btw Lalaland was just added to Netflix today + Blade Runner was just taken OFF of Disney+ a week ago T_T)

[b4mpyre-k1zz3s]

“Hello, Nurse!”

Y/N, the fresh faced medic on the Jackass set, cannot seem to catch a break from the guys on set, especially after Knoxville comes up with a plan to welcome her into the family. But who can blame them? She’s pretty fun to mess with…

Johnny Knoxville X Fem!Reader, Bam Margera X Fem!Reader, Steve-O X Fem!Reader, Chris Pontius X Fem!Reader, Ryan Dunn X Fem!Reader

(Fluff, angst)

1.9k Words

Warnings: Highly suggestive content, blood kink, medical settings, wound description, hazing, nudity, premature ejaculation, snakes, hangovers

An: Thank you so much for sending in requests!! I find that I really like writing Y/N’s with vivid personalities, wether it be very outspoken or, like in this fic, shy ones! I think there’s a lot of really cute and funny scenarios that could come from reader inserts that are just as vivid as the guys themselves! XD Anyways, thank you for the requests and please keep sending them!!

Your eyes went a little wide at what was sitting in front of you. At the time you took up this job, you were expecting to disinfect superficial wounds and, worst case scenario, have to splint a sprained ankle. Tending to an anaconda bite wasn’t exactly what you had in mind, much less eight of them at a time, but today that’s what Johnny was sporting when he walked into the medic trailer and hopped up on the exam table. Looking up at you through the tint of his sunglasses, he seemed oddly at ease as he watched you carefully inspect his muscular forearms- the way his blood trickled down in thin, shiny ribbons to drip off of his fingertips and onto the floor. Sensing your concern, Johnny tried to crack a joke after you nervously mumbled something about getting him on some antibiotics, “Y’know, they oughta get that snake on antibiotics!”

Going about cleaning Johnny’s wounds, you gently steadied one of his hands with yours, dashing the thought of how the way his hands were bigger than yours made you feel as you doused his arm in rubbing alcohol. “Did that hurt…?” You knew grown men to wail like babies when you disinfected their wounds, but the only reaction you got out of Knoxville was a wince and a slight flexing of his muscles. He shook his head, although you could tell from the way he was half talking through his teeth that he was trying to play it cool in front of you, “No, ma’am. Not a bit.” With nimble fingers, you wrapped Johnny’s arms in gauze, trying not to fumble at the way he was staring at you while you worked. “I swear, Y/N- you’ve got the hands of an angel…” A pink blush spread across your cheeks as you tried to hide how the affection in that comment got to you, much to his satisfaction.

Johnny’s sense of humor made you feel the most constérnale around him out of all the guys, but that isn’t to say you were totally at ease. Not only were you new on set, you had never worked on a set in the first place! Fresh out of med school, you were searching for a job and caught an ad in the yellow pages for someone with basic medical training. You ended up taking the place of the previous medic, Ed: this big, rough and tumble old dude whose job didn’t so much entail bandaging injuries and handing out ice packs as it involved handing out pills for a living. I mean, he was good at it, but there’s only so much OxyContin and Percocet can take care of.

So when he got moved onto another set by the union, that’s where you came in. Cue a week of everyone asking where the medic was, only for you to have to tell them that yes, you were the medic- and given the fact you were on a Jackass set, there was no way you were avoiding getting pranked. It was actually Bam who discovered your skittishness first given his general brash personality, but that gave Johnny this genius idea: you were the perfect person to fuck with! Consider it a friendly bout of hazing to welcome you into the family. He got all the guys together one day before filming, whispering barely out of your earshot, “Okay- this girl is really nervous, so next time any of you get hurt, just- fuck with her a little. It’ll be hilarious!” Everyone agreed that it would make for some good footage and they all enlisted to try and find fun and inventive ways to freak out the cute medic girl. Nobody was more excited for this than Bam.

Your nose was buried in one of the horribly unorganized medical kits you were given on your first day when your ears perked up at the sound of Bam’s voice, “Hey, Y/N-'' When you turned your head, he didn’t even make two steps into the trailer before he turned his back to you, dropped his baggy jeans to his ankles, and bent over, “I got stuck in the ass with somethin’- does it look alright?” Hell, before this, Bam did nothing but tease you day in and day out, and now you were staring at his essentially naked body.

“U-uh…Looks good!” Your voice jumped nearly an octave when you responded. Given the fact none of the guys ever wore shirts on set, you got a good look at the way his toned back muscles flexed with his movement as he turned around to you, entirely deadpan, “I know it looks good- but what about the injury?” At least to your trained eye, you couldn't discern anything wrong with his pasty white ass, so all you did was mumble something about how if the pain persists he should come back later, while you ushered him out. Stumbling as he pulled his pants up, Bam chuckled, “Oh, I will!”

The second he stepped out of the door, Knoxville was standing there with the camcorder, barely out of your line of sight. Bam was still buckling up his pants as he gleefully recounted to the camera, “Dude, she was freakin’ out so bad- I thought she was gonna pass out!” I mean, it was kinda expected, given the way he had been chasing you around and pestering you like some kinda schoolyard bully for the past week, but god it made for some amazing footage. “D’you think we could get Steve-O in there ne-“ Johnny was cut off by the sound of shattering glass somewhere onset. “Nevermind.”

Besides Knoxville, Steve was the only one who had a major injury when he walked into the trailer- well, walked as well as he could. See, they were filming this awesome stunt which involved him going through a bunch of tube lights on his skateboard, as he explained to you from where he sat on the table, and the obvious happened- lots of glass, even more blood. “It looks rad though, right?” Just like Johnny, he didn’t seem that perturbed by what happened, idly swaying his legs as blood ran hot down his calves and soaked into his socks. Swallowing, you were at least happy to finally be able to do what you were being paid for and you set to work on, inspecting the damage.

It was mostly his legs, but the tiny shards of glass stuck in Steve’s skin that shimmered like crushed ice littered the whole left side of his body. The part you were most concerned about was his face- I mean duh, he’s a movie star and to your knowledge that’s how he makes a living- so you started there, leaning close and gently tilting his head to one side. And the thing is it’s not that often a girl like you gets that close to a guy like Steve- sure, he made out with sluts at the bar every other night, but to have this absolute angel of a woman right there, tending to him so sweetly, looking at him with those pretty doe eyes- god, he could practically feel your breath against his skin. It was just too much.

“I can’t do this. I’m out.” Excusing himself, Steve hopped off of the table, leaving you blinking in confusion. “But- we’re not finished…?” Turning back to you, he spoke over his shoulder, “Yes, I am.” In your head, you wrote it off as another case of celebrities being divas, but he was long gone before you could stop him and Johnny was eagerly waiting outside. “Hey, man- how’d it go?” Steve’s sigh of defeat told him it was mission failure even before he mimed out what happened: jerk off motion in front of the crotch, then palms in the air. And as Steve went off to go clean himself up, Knoxville set to work on a new plan.

“Y'know, I was a nurse once too!” Chris chuckled, leaning against a counter top, “I was in Thailand working at this monkey hospital, which isn’t all that different from what you do now that I think about it!” You first assumed he was stopping by to chat, which you didn’t mind because he was a nice guy and you always loved listening to his stories from Wildboyz, but that wasn't the case. “Anyways, the reason I came here was-“ Your eyes went wide and you let out a little squeak as, for the second time that day, a man dropped trou in the medical tent, “Y’see, a snake bit my snake!”

Well, they didn’t cover this in medical school. Stumbling over your words, you asked him the routine snake bite questions- it wasn’t a venomous snake and the wound wasn’t even bleeding, but it was certainly an infection risk, so you ended up settling for applying some neosporin and bandaging him up. The feeling of the cold goo on his skin made Chris giggle a bit as you gingerly dabbed it on, and right as you were kneeling down in front of him in maybe the most intimate position you could be in, he decides to speak up, “Y’know, you’d look great in one of those little nurse uniforms!” Averting your eyes as hard as you could, you stuttered, “ I’ll, uh- I’ll think about that…” From the looks of it, Chris was probably thinking about that right now.

And of course someone just had to stumble in on that scene. It was Ryan, who didn’t seem to pay any attention to the incredibly suggestive display going on in front of him. He nonchalantly took a seat in one of the plastic chairs in the corner of the room and leaned his head back, waiting patiently with his eyes closed. Once you got Chris’ pants up and rushed him out, you grabbed a new pair of nitrile gloves as you went to where Ryan was sitting, “How can I help you?” Blinking awake behind his sunglasses, he sat up a bit straighter, “Oh, yeah- I’m just,” Ryan sighed, “really hungover right now…can I get some aspirin or something?”

Finally, something you could take care of! “Oh, of course! If you’d like, you could lay down for a few minutes.” Ryan watched you grab some pills from the cabinet and a Dixie cup of water with a smile on your face. God, Steve was right - this chick really is an angel. “Thanks.” He threw the pills back and took a swig of the water. “You know, I don’t know how you do it- takin’ care of us idiots.” To put it this way, if he had your job, stitching up morons who hurt themselves for fun, he would’ve put in his two weeks a while ago. But the fact that they hurt themselves on purpose never seemed to get in the way of the fact you were genuinely happy to help, no matter the circumstance. “Really, it’s no problem! I, uh…I guess I just like making people feel better.”

“Dude- what’s the holdup?” Two hours elapsed from the time Ryan went in the tent to the time he left, and Johnny heard nothing from him in that time. That was because shortly after you gave him those pills- think ten minutes- he was out cold. But the day was slow, and you didn’t see any purpose in waking him, so you decided to let him sleep off whatever was bothering him. Half awake, Ryan put a hand on Knoxville’s shoulder. “That woman needs a raise.”

[bayblonde]

Two Punks in Love (1324 words) by bayblonde Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Bam Margera - Fandom, Viva La Bam, CKY, Jackass, Ryan Dunn - Fandom, johnny knoxville - Fandom Rating: Mature Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence Relationships: Bam Margera/Original Female Character(s), Ryan Dunn & Bam Margera Characters: Bam Margera, Ryan Dunn, Johnny Knoxville, Chris Raab, Brandon DiCamillo, Steve-O | Stephen Glover, cky crew - Character Summary: You have a complicated past, but when did anything complicated, weird, or even gross scare away the CKY boys? Young high school love evolves into young adulthood in a small town LOTS of angst, some mentions of abuse, heavy on the small town, romantic young love plot, smut Drinking, drugs, partying, fights, debauchery and slayfulness Welcome to my first Bam fic :)

[chillinparker]

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